We climb in the back

on if b  $5’ we quietly climb in the back.We do not greet the f ' ‘ ut silently step over their bodies to find emp amihes. already ‘k takes us to the 0th ' tyspaces to 5”‘ The truc . er side of the mountain to 3 Vina called Ixilks where We Wm {of new Ordtfrs from the soldiers. I wondijf why the Angkar keeps uprooting and relocating people, herding them “kg cows from one location to another. For our family, the uprootjn 1'5 3 Choiw pa Says we have to keep moving to stay safe. For many othegrg my have no say in the matter. It is as if no village wants us nor do the soldiers know what to do with us. Eventually, another truck comes to take us to our new home, the village of R0 Leap. I climb in and sit by myself in a corner of the truck while the rest of the family huddles closely together. Meng had said when we arrived at Anlungthmor five months ago that there were approximately three hundred new people there, now more than two hundred of the new people have died from starvation, food poisoning, and malaria. I look over to see Ma holding Geak very tightly to her breasts, as if to never let her go. “Ma, am hungry,” Geak cries. “Shhh. . . It’s going to be okay soon.”  “Hungry, belly hurts.” Geak continues to cry. “I love you very much and I will make things better. When we 8“  back home, we will go to the park and get you your favorite food. We’lI g€t some Chinese pork dumplings.Won’t that be fun? We'll have a picnic and a good swim, then go to the park and. . .” Geak is so thin that her Cheekbones protrude out of her face. Her cheeks are now hollow, her  Skin hangs on her bones and her eyes are dulled with hunger.

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Because everything is wet

Because everything is wet and there’s a foot of Wilt" “"dCm°‘“h “Ewe cannot make a fire. Pa feeds us young children Slices Of the Tilbbit meat Though the lime juice cuts the taste a little, I still hate the texture ofit. The flesh stretches and pulls in my mouth and Its hard to Cilew” MY stomach tightens, wanting to ‘hmw the food back out Sucking 0" a slice of lime,l force the meat to stay down because I know that there is no more food for me ifl Spit it ml" Eventually, the rainy season is over an . _ I behind wet. muddy gr0und.The whole village  lh 3 SW’: of P3010 for there is no food anywhere. “We have to leave, -Pa tells us one night. “People are discontent.Th€Y are hun8rY~The mmve Vlllagers are 5”‘Pl‘ cious of eVerYbod)’~ and thCY are “kmg too many queSt10nS'We are dif- ferent, your ma speaks Khmer with a Chinese accent, You kids have lighter skin, and, besides me, this fami1Y does not know much about  d the flood recedes, leaving  farming, so the villagers will make us the first scapegoats for their prob- lems.” Pa says hunger and fear make people turn against one another, so once again we have to flee, Pa pleads with the chief to relocate us to another village before people have the chance to turn against us. In the morning, we will leave with only the clothes in our bags, trek down the mountain, and wait for a Khmer Rouge truck to pick us up.  “The killings have started," Pa tells my older brothers as we walk back down the mountain to our rendezvous area. “The Khmer Rouge are executing people perceived to be a threat against the Angkar. This new country has no law or order. City people are killed for no reason. Anyone can be viewed as a threat to the Angkar—former civil servants. monks, doctors, nurses, artists, teachers, students—even people Wl10 wear glasses, as the soldiers view this as a sign of intelligence. Anyone the Khmer Rmlge b€h€Ves has the power to lead a rebellion will bt’  killed. We have to be extremely careful, but if we keep moving to dif. ferent villages, we may stay safe.»  It has become too familiar to me by now.When Ma wakes me l1Pl"  the early morning, I do not ask her any questions. It has become 3 W‘ t . . me After many hours of walking, we arrive at the same spot where we were d , h mppcd Off m°“th5 before. There we wait all afternoon and mm ‘ ‘7 night for the truck , ‘ that the chief arra "1 n ed d take US away to whe g to come an  re no one knows us. When the truck comes in the dark. 


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